W.A.L.T: Write an engaging narrative.
This is my narrative. We had to write a narrative and buddy check it. After that I went back and edited all the things my buddy said too. I have finally finished and comment to let me know what you think .
There was once a family that contained two brothers (that were twins and were sixteen years old), a
sister that was nine and mum and a dad. It was a hot day and the family decided to go for a long walk up the hill near their house. They left their house at 10:00 am and started walking uphill. The sister who was named Ivey immediately started complaining.
´My legs feel like they are chopped off´exclaimed Ivey.
´Mine feel like there are bricks attached to them that make my legs very heavy´ One of the twins moaned. The other twin agreed. The parents wanted to say something but decided it would be best to continue walking with the children dragging slowly behind. Suddenly it started to pour down with rain. The rain was refreshing but the wind was hard to walk against. The family wanted to turn around but the wind was too strong. The parents found a rock and sat down. The parents talked quietly to each other which made Ivey start to worry. The boys bullied Ivey to pass time but eventually stopped. The parents led the three children down the hill but lost their way. Eventually they ran into fog and it was too dangerous to walk. THEY WERE STRANDED! The dad looked for any shelter but there was no luck. They all stayed closed and walked with their heads down. The hill ground became loose and wobbly until eventually the ground collapsed underneath them! The family hit the ground with a loud BOOM!!
Ivey looked up confused and scared wondering if any of her family was even alive! Luckily it was okay, Her brothers looked up and looked sound and the parents jumped up and checked to make sure their children were okay. Everyone looked at each other not knowing what to do next. The dad got mad and yelled
´We should have never gone on this walk!´ A few minutes later all you could hear was complaining and moaning until they heard a noise. It sounded like bubbles popping up and it started to get really warm. They followed the sound as it got louder and louder, Ivey separated from her family and turned a corner. She soon realised that the thing she was inside was an underground cave! She had read about these at her school library and learned that some are very strange and unusual! She looked around for her family and to her surprise they were nowhere near her! She started yelling for help and her family panicked thinking she was kidnapped! They rushed to the sound of her voice and eventually found her. But instead of seeing if the daughter was okay they looked shocked. Ivey was confused about what they were all looking at so she turned dramatically around and screamed. The boys said, ``Relax it's just a lava pool. Maybe we should throw you in it´
A LAVA POOL!? What was this cave? Of course it was just lava but none of the family had ever seen lava or more, A lava pool! The parents looked down at the children and said that they all had to leave right away! They headed back and ran into another surprise! They got to where they first arrived and realised that the ground covered the top where they came out of. They were sure they were stuck, Ivey was the dramatic one and said ´WE'RE GOING TO DIE!´
The mum replied with ´Ẃe are not going to die Ivey, Calm down.´
Next the boys decided to go see if there was anyone in the cave and Ivey stayed back and sat down and sobbed. 30 minutes later there was still no luck. The boys had come back and the parents didn't look hopeful. No one cared about what Ivey was doing. Ivey felt left out and so she continued sobbing to see if anyone was going to notice (She was an attention seeker) Time passed and they all started to get hungry, they finished their water and Ivey joined the rest of her family, accepting that no one cared. The parents then had a plan to separate and look for any kind of help. Ivey came back with nothing. The mum came back with a rope and the dad came back soon after with a ladder! And the two boys came back with nothing. The parents finally had some hope and started to set up the ladder, They tried to push the ground up but it was too hard, They continued to try and eventually the ground moved a little bit. 2 hours later the parents and the 2 twins pushed so hard that they fell. They all lost hope again. Ivey started to feel sick from no food for more than 24 hours and thought she was going to die. The parents weren't too bad and the boys were eating dirt! A little while later they fell to sleep for another night.
The next morning Ivey woke up first. She heard growling and mumbling, She stood up and whispered
´Hello?´
The noise suddenly stopped. Ivey thought it would be okay with her parents if she went looking. She started to walk and heard the noise again. The noise continued until it was nearly growling like a wolf. Ivey heard steps coming her way and started to freak, she turned around to see if she could still her family sleeping, they were. Then out of the side of the cave dwarfs came out. The dwarfs scared Ivey and she screamed and ran away with her arms up. Her parents woke with a jump and looked to see what was happening. The dwarfs ran after Ivey doing exactly what she was doing. A few minutes later everyone was up and looking dead at the dwarfs, Ivey counted how many there was
´1 2 3 4 5… 6!´ One of the dwarves looked like the leader and said
´Yep there's 6 of us there was 7 but one died of your screaming´
They all looked over to the dwarf in the corner lying on the ground.
´It's a pleasure to meet you, What brings you to this cave?´ They all started at each other in shock until one of the brothers replied with
´Ummm yeah you too. We fell through the ground and couldn't seem to get out´ The dwarfs looked at each other and started to whisper to each other.
´Right well we know a door that leads to stairs where you can get out.´ Everyone's faces lit up with excitement and started walking toward the wall where the dwarfs came out of.
Everyone in the family was willing for one of the boys to go first just to make sure it works. The two boys decided to go at the same time and ran toward the wall like Harry potter. The wall didn't budge and the boys bounced back falling onto the ground. Ivey looked at the dwarfs who were giggling quietly until they noticed that Ivey was staring.
´Oh well I guess it didn't work, Have you tried waiting for the ground to crumble again? it happens once every 2 days´
The boys replied with
´Yeah you could have told us that before we nearly got a concussion´
The dwarfs walked into the wall giggling. About 2 hours later the ground began to shake and crumble and the ground fell once again. The family thought fast and put up the ladder and started to climb. First Ivey next the two boys and then the parents, the ground began to close when the parents were coming up and they had to race.
´Hurry Hurry Hurry´ The kids yelled.
The rushed father was last but its foot got really badly damaged, ´At last we are out´ Said Ivey lying on the ground enjoying the air. Everyone helped the dad walk home and told everyone about the adventure. A few days later the dad went to the hospital and had to get his leg removed. But back at home everyone was happy to be alive.
What would you do if this happened to you?
The end
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